🏙️ The Ultimate Guide to the Best Toronto Jokes and One-Liners

📍 Toronto 101: The City Everyone Loves to Tease

1. Toronto isn’t Canada’s center of the universe...
   It’s just where the universe pays rent over $2,000/month.
2. What's the national bird of Toronto?
   The construction crane.
3. You know you're in Toronto when people complain about traffic while sitting on the subway.
4. Toronto: where people apologize for bumping into pigeons.
5. In Toronto, “affordable housing” is just a mythical creature—like Bigfoot, but with worse credit.

🚇 Transit, TTC & Traffic Troubles

1. The TTC motto?
   "We might show up."
2. Toronto drivers treat speed limits like polite suggestions from a friend they don’t like.
3. The TTC is like a Tinder date—you never know if it’s actually going to show up, or if you’ll get ghosted.
4. You’re not a real Torontonian until you’ve missed your stop because someone’s bag had its own seat.
5. In Toronto, a 10-minute drive takes 40 minutes, but at least it costs $5/hour to park.

💸 Cost of Living, Condos & Coffee

1. Rent in Toronto is so high, raccoons are applying for mortgages.
2. Toronto’s real estate agents are just magicians in suits: “Here’s a 1-bedroom closet for $1.2M!”
3. “This place has character” = there’s mould behind the shower curtain.
4. Toronto condos are like IKEA furniture: small, expensive, and missing a part.
5. In Toronto, “broke” means you only go to Starbucks 4 times a week.

🎭 Stereotypes, Swagger & Scarborough

1. People from Toronto will say they’re from “the GTA” even if they live in Ajax.
2. Someone in Toronto just called a 30-minute walk a “trek.”
3. In Scarborough, “backup plan” means bringing your cousin.
4. “It’s only a 10-minute walk,” said a Torontonian.
   That was 35 minutes ago. And uphill. Both ways.
5. Torontonians measure distance in subway stops and Uber surge prices.

🍁 Local Pride with a Twist

1. Toronto is the only place where someone will brag about living in a basement.
2. If you hear someone say “the 6ix” unironically, they probably own a Raptors jersey.
3. People in Toronto complain about how cold it is, then wear denim jackets in -10°C.
4. Toronto: where you need to take out a loan to park downtown... and another to leave.
5. You know you’re in Toronto when there are three Starbucks on one corner and still nowhere to pee.

🧢 Drake & The 6ix

1. Drake isn’t the Mayor of Toronto…
   But let’s be real, he might as well be.
2. Drake made Toronto cool. Now we just need someone to make it affordable.
3. If you hear “running through the 6ix,” it’s either a Drake lyric or someone trying to catch the GO train.
4. Torontonians don’t use maps. They use Drake references:
   “Turn left at where the Views cover was shot.”
5. The only city where someone will say “Started from the bottom” while living in a condo on the 47th floor.
   

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