46 TD Bank Jokes

1. TD stands for Too Damn expensive.
2. Toronto-Dominion? More like Toronto-Dominated by Fees.
3. TD charges you for checking your checking account.
4. TD Bank: where your money checks in… but never checks out.
5. TD overdraft fees hit harder than Monday mornings.
6. TD’s idea of customer loyalty is charging you slightly less to be broke.
7. TD savings account earns interest like it’s on vacation.
8. TD ATM fees be like: “Nice withdrawal… that’ll be $3.”
9. TD app notifications feel like financial jump scares.
10. TD credit card interest is so high it should come with oxygen masks.
11. TD Bank turns every purchase into a long-term relationship.
12. TD statements read like a true crime documentary.
13. TD customer service: “Your call is important”… 40 minutes later… still important.
14. TD’s idea of free banking requires seven hoops and a sacrifice.
15. TD overdraft protection is just panic in monthly installments.
16. TD lets your balance go negative… then charges you for the experience.
17. TD savings interest grows slower than construction in Toronto.
18. TD’s favorite hobby is finding new fees.
19. TD credit card: swipe now, cry later.
20. TD makes it easy to spend… and very expensive to exist.
21. TD stands for Thank you, debt.
22. TD fees stack faster than parking tickets downtown.
23. TD Bank is where your paycheck goes to disappear.
24. TD sends me emails about my balance like it’s a missing person case.
25. TD customer service always says “We understand”… but the fees say otherwise.
26. TD savings account is basically a money waiting room.
27. TD interest rates only get excited when it’s your debt.
28. TD ATM fees make cash feel like a luxury purchase.
29. TD credit limit increases slower than rent.
30. TD overdraft fees feel like a financial ambush.
31. TD app shows your balance dropping in HD.
32. TD investments earn money… just not for you.
33. TD’s idea of rewards is watching your debt grow.
34. TD statements are just monthly reminders of regret.
35. TD banking is a subscription service for fees.
36. TD Bank — proud sponsor of financial anxiety.
37. TD savings interest is more of a suggestion than a number.
38. TD credit cards swipe smoother than your recovery.
39. TD overdraft is just a surprise loan with panic attached.
40. TD makes it easier to borrow than to breathe.
41. TD fees appear like jump scares.
42. TD Bank treats your money like it belongs to them.
43. TD app crashes more than my budget.
44. TD banking feels like renting your own money.
45. TD interest compounds faster than bad decisions.
46. TD’s free banking is like free Wi-Fi… never actually free.