59 Donald Trump Jokes

1. Donald Trump calls it multitasking when he tweets and contradicts himself at the same time.
2. Trump says he hates fake news, unless he wrote it himself.
3. Donald Trump’s favorite exercise is jumping to conclusions.
4. Trump doesn’t read between the lines—he just underlines himself.
5. Donald Trump believes in transparency, as long as the mirror agrees.
6. Trump says he’s self-made… apparently from spare parts and confidence.
7. Donald Trump could argue with an echo and still lose.
8. Trump’s hair has more plot twists than a Netflix series.
9. Donald Trump says he tells it like it is—then edits it five minutes later.
10. Trump’s press conferences are just podcasts without a pause button.
11. Donald Trump’s confidence is renewable energy.
12. Trump calls it “winning bigly,” everyone else calls it Tuesday.
13. Donald Trump doesn’t spin stories—he puts them in a centrifuge.
14. Trump says he’s misunderstood, mainly by reality.
15. Donald Trump thinks footnotes are optional… like facts.
16. Trump’s autobiography is filed under fiction, fantasy, and self-help.
17. Donald Trump can make a mountain out of a typo.
18. Trump says he listens to experts—then mutes them.
19. Donald Trump’s debates are just monologues with background noise.
20. Trump believes silence is golden, which is why he avoids it.
21. Donald Trump’s idea of compromise is agreeing with himself twice.
22. Trump’s approval rating depends on the font size.
23. Donald Trump says he’s humble—very, very humble.
24. Trump treats Twitter like it’s a suggestion box for reality.
25. Donald Trump’s speeches come with a built-in plot reset.
26. Trump thinks fact-checking is optional DLC.
27. Donald Trump’s mirror gives standing ovations.
28. Trump doesn’t dodge questions—he builds luxury detours.
29. Donald Trump’s idea of consistency is always being inconsistent.
30. Trump says he’s unpredictable, but the punchline is always the same.
31. Donald Trump thinks nuance is a foreign country.
32. Trump’s slogans have more sequels than action movies.
33. Donald Trump doesn’t burn bridges—he live-tweets them.
34. Trump’s confidence enters the room before he does.
35. Donald Trump thinks proofreading is for losers.
36. Trump’s interviews are just extended captions.
37. Donald Trump could find drama in a user manual.
38. Trump says he’s misunderstood, but he explains himself constantly.
39. Donald Trump treats facts like suggestions.
40. Trump’s speeches have more reruns than cable TV.
41. Donald Trump calls it branding—everyone else calls it volume.
42. Trump doesn’t whisper; he announces.
43. Donald Trump thinks humility is overrated marketing.
44. Trump’s favorite statistic is “many people are saying.”
45. Donald Trump says he’s decisive—about changing his mind.
46. Trump’s quotes are proof autocorrect gave up.
47. Donald Trump believes in free speech, especially his.
48. Trump’s debates are just confidence wrestling.
49. Donald Trump doesn’t follow the script—he rewrites it mid-sentence.
50. Trump’s idea of diplomacy is all caps.
51. Donald Trump’s soundbites have soundbites.
52. Trump thinks criticism is just feedback from haters.
53. Donald Trump treats microphones like megaphones.
54. Trump’s logic runs on vibes.
55. Donald Trump says he loves numbers, especially the big ones.
56. Trump’s attention span is measured in headlines.
57. Donald Trump thinks exaggeration is a form of art.
58. Trump doesn’t walk back statements—he moonwalks.
59. Donald Trump’s confidence has confidence.