69 Tesla & Elon Musk Jokes

Here's a big batch of 69 Tesla and Elon Musk jokes—some clever, some corny, some roasting, and some admiring the chaos 😄:

⚡ Tesla Jokes

1. Why did the Tesla cross the road?
   To recharge on the other side.
2. Teslas are like introverts at a party — always looking for the nearest wall outlet.
3. My Tesla broke up with me. Said I didn’t spark joy.
4. A Tesla’s favorite pickup line?
   “You make my heart race… in Ludicrous Mode.”
5. I asked my Tesla for directions… now I’m emotionally dependent on it.
6. Teslas don’t have engines… but they still know how to ghost.
7. Why did the Tesla go to therapy?
   It had a charging complex.
8. My Tesla won’t stop bragging. I think it’s got a superiority battery.
9. Teslas are proof that even cars want to ghost gas stations.
10. Every time I see a Tesla, I assume there’s a podcast playing inside.
11. My gas car: “I run on fossil fuel.”
    Tesla: “I run on sunlight, stocks, and ego.”
12. What’s a Tesla driver’s biggest fear?
    Finding a parking spot… with no plug.
13. My Tesla is so quiet, I can hear it judging my Spotify playlist.
14. Teslas don’t just drive — they glide with passive aggression.
15. A Tesla driver’s version of cardio? Range anxiety.
16. Teslas are just iPhones with wheels.
17. Teslas have no engine noise, just the subtle hum of superiority.
18. When Teslas crash, the airbags apologize in binary.
19. Tesla drivers don’t honk… they just flash a smug smile.
20. Teslas come with autopilot — because even the car thinks your driving sucks.
21. I challenged a Tesla to a race. It laughed in zero-to-sixty.
22. Teslas don’t have “check engine” lights — they just send a tweet.
23. What’s Tesla’s spirit animal?
    A smug cheetah with Wi-Fi.
24. Teslas don’t drive themselves… they judge themselves.
25. I told my Tesla a joke. It updated its software and deleted my sense of humor.

🚀 Elon Musk Jokes

1. Elon Musk wakes up, flips a coin: heads he tweets, tails he buys something absurd.
2. Elon doesn’t sleep. He just enters low-power mode.
3. Elon Musk built a spaceship, launched a car into orbit, and named his kid a password.
4. Elon’s Wi-Fi password is probably longer than his attention span.
5. Elon Musk doesn’t take showers — he just resets his neural network.
6. Elon named his kid X Æ A-12 because “Bob” was taken by NASA.
7. Elon Musk doesn’t do yoga. He bends reality instead.
8. If Elon Musk had a spirit animal, it’d be a caffeinated alien with a whiteboard.
9. Elon started a car company, a rocket company, and bought Twitter… because therapy was too mainstream.
10. Elon Musk is what happens when you give a Reddit thread $300 billion.
11. Elon’s morning routine: coffee, chaos, crypto, combustion.
12. Elon didn’t invent time travel — he just works in so many industries, it feels like he does.
13. Elon Musk once sneezed and accidentally launched a startup.
14. Elon Musk is the only person who could start a war with a tweet and end it with a flamethrower.
15. Elon doesn’t do “off days.” He just moonlights on Mars.
16. Elon Musk doesn’t walk into a room — he accelerates into it.
17. Elon once tried to buy the moon but settled for Twitter.
18. Elon Musk is the final boss of Silicon Valley.
19. Elon Musk doesn’t make typos — reality just isn’t updated yet.
20. Elon got bored of Earth, so he built a rocket to leave the group chat.
21. Elon’s five-year plan: reinvent the wheel, then drive it on Mars.
22. If Elon Musk made pizza, it would come with Wi-Fi and mine Dogecoin.
23. Elon Musk could tweet “potato” and Tesla stock would rise 12%.
24. Elon has more companies than you have unread emails.
25. Elon Musk is so rich, he sends his haters to space… literally.

🤖 Combo Tesla + Elon Jokes

1. Elon: “What if we made a car?”
   Also Elon: “What if the car made us?”
2. Tesla isn’t a car company. It’s Elon’s personality with wheels.
3. If Elon Musk made a dating app, it’d drive you to the date automatically and break up via tweet.
4. Tesla’s full self-driving is just Elon’s way of making sure you always have backseat advice.
5. Elon doesn’t drive Teslas. Teslas drive Elon.
6. Elon made a car that parks itself, drives itself, and costs more than your house. Flex level: billionaire.
7. Elon Musk’s favorite romantic phrase?
   “Take my hand, we’re going to Mars.”
8. If Elon Musk built a refrigerator, it would have over-the-air updates and probably tweet at you.
9. The Tesla Cybertruck looks like it was designed by Elon after a Red Bull and Minecraft marathon.
10. Elon Musk's motto: "If it ain't broke, disrupt it."

😅 Silly One-Liners & Wordplay

1. Elon Musk walks into a bar… buys it, renovates it, and launches it into orbit.
2. My Tesla doesn’t have an exhaust pipe… but I can still smell the elitism.
3. Elon named his baby X Æ A-12 so it wouldn’t get hacked.
4. Teslas are so advanced, even my toaster feels insecure.
5. Elon Musk built a car that can dance. Meanwhile, I still can’t parallel park.
6. A Tesla’s worst nightmare? A power outage and no Wi-Fi.
7. Elon Musk’s autobiography will just be a collection of unhinged tweets.
8. Teslas run on electricity, but their drivers run on clout.
9. Elon Musk is proof that money can buy you rockets, robots, and relevance.
   

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