Same car,
better deal.
69 Tesla & Elon Musk Jokes
Here's a big batch of 69 Tesla and Elon Musk jokes—some clever, some corny, some roasting, and some admiring the chaos 😄:
âš¡ Tesla Jokes
- Why did the Tesla cross the road?
To recharge on the other side. - Teslas are like introverts at a party — always looking for the nearest wall outlet.
- My Tesla broke up with me. Said I didn’t spark joy.
- A Tesla’s favorite pickup line?
“You make my heart race… in Ludicrous Mode.” - I asked my Tesla for directions… now I’m emotionally dependent on it.
- Teslas don’t have engines… but they still know how to ghost.
- Why did the Tesla go to therapy?
It had a charging complex. - My Tesla won’t stop bragging. I think it’s got a superiority battery.
- Teslas are proof that even cars want to ghost gas stations.
- Every time I see a Tesla, I assume there’s a podcast playing inside.
- My gas car: “I run on fossil fuel.”
Tesla: “I run on sunlight, stocks, and ego.” - What’s a Tesla driver’s biggest fear?
Finding a parking spot… with no plug. - My Tesla is so quiet, I can hear it judging my Spotify playlist.
- Teslas don’t just drive — they glide with passive aggression.
- A Tesla driver’s version of cardio? Range anxiety.
- Teslas are just iPhones with wheels.
- Teslas have no engine noise, just the subtle hum of superiority.
- When Teslas crash, the airbags apologize in binary.
- Tesla drivers don’t honk… they just flash a smug smile.
- Teslas come with autopilot — because even the car thinks your driving sucks.
- I challenged a Tesla to a race. It laughed in zero-to-sixty.
- Teslas don’t have “check engine” lights — they just send a tweet.
- What’s Tesla’s spirit animal?
A smug cheetah with Wi-Fi. - Teslas don’t drive themselves… they judge themselves.
- I told my Tesla a joke. It updated its software and deleted my sense of humor.
🚀 Elon Musk Jokes
- Elon Musk wakes up, flips a coin: heads he tweets, tails he buys something absurd.
- Elon doesn’t sleep. He just enters low-power mode.
- Elon Musk built a spaceship, launched a car into orbit, and named his kid a password.
- Elon’s Wi-Fi password is probably longer than his attention span.
- Elon Musk doesn’t take showers — he just resets his neural network.
- Elon named his kid X Æ A-12 because “Bob” was taken by NASA.
- Elon Musk doesn’t do yoga. He bends reality instead.
- If Elon Musk had a spirit animal, it’d be a caffeinated alien with a whiteboard.
- Elon started a car company, a rocket company, and bought Twitter… because therapy was too mainstream.
- Elon Musk is what happens when you give a Reddit thread $300 billion.
- Elon’s morning routine: coffee, chaos, crypto, combustion.
- Elon didn’t invent time travel — he just works in so many industries, it feels like he does.
- Elon Musk once sneezed and accidentally launched a startup.
- Elon Musk is the only person who could start a war with a tweet and end it with a flamethrower.
- Elon doesn’t do “off days.” He just moonlights on Mars.
- Elon Musk doesn’t walk into a room — he accelerates into it.
- Elon once tried to buy the moon but settled for Twitter.
- Elon Musk is the final boss of Silicon Valley.
- Elon Musk doesn’t make typos — reality just isn’t updated yet.
- Elon got bored of Earth, so he built a rocket to leave the group chat.
- Elon’s five-year plan: reinvent the wheel, then drive it on Mars.
- If Elon Musk made pizza, it would come with Wi-Fi and mine Dogecoin.
- Elon Musk could tweet “potato” and Tesla stock would rise 12%.
- Elon has more companies than you have unread emails.
- Elon Musk is so rich, he sends his haters to space… literally.
🤖 Combo Tesla + Elon Jokes
- Elon: “What if we made a car?”
Also Elon: “What if the car made us?” - Tesla isn’t a car company. It’s Elon’s personality with wheels.
- If Elon Musk made a dating app, it’d drive you to the date automatically and break up via tweet.
- Tesla’s full self-driving is just Elon’s way of making sure you always have backseat advice.
- Elon doesn’t drive Teslas. Teslas drive Elon.
- Elon made a car that parks itself, drives itself, and costs more than your house. Flex level: billionaire.
- Elon Musk’s favorite romantic phrase?
“Take my hand, we’re going to Mars.” - If Elon Musk built a refrigerator, it would have over-the-air updates and probably tweet at you.
- The Tesla Cybertruck looks like it was designed by Elon after a Red Bull and Minecraft marathon.
- Elon Musk's motto: "If it ain't broke, disrupt it."
😅 Silly One-Liners & Wordplay
- Elon Musk walks into a bar… buys it, renovates it, and launches it into orbit.
- My Tesla doesn’t have an exhaust pipe… but I can still smell the elitism.
- Elon named his baby X Æ A-12 so it wouldn’t get hacked.
- Teslas are so advanced, even my toaster feels insecure.
- Elon Musk built a car that can dance. Meanwhile, I still can’t parallel park.
- A Tesla’s worst nightmare? A power outage and no Wi-Fi.
- Elon Musk’s autobiography will just be a collection of unhinged tweets.
- Teslas run on electricity, but their drivers run on clout.
- Elon Musk is proof that money can buy you rockets, robots, and
relevance.
or

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